A Ghostbusters II Christmas Poem

It's Christmas Eve for some of you, and what better way to celebrate than with a poem pulled from a 35-year-old book. Taken from pages 74-76 of the "Ghostbusters II Joke, Puzzle, and Game Book" by Jim Razzi & Jack Looney, let's read Ghostbusters' Xmas Eve, or A Visit From Vigo...


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town,
Not a spirit was stirring, the place was shut down.

The lasers were hung by the slide pole with care,
In hopes that a phantom would pop up somewhere.

Venkman and Winston were snug in their beds,
While visions of slimeballs danced in their heads.

I had full gear on while minding the store
And I just settled down for a quick little snore.

When out in the alley was heard such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I ran like a flash,
Ripped open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the slushy old snow,
Gave a dirty appearance to objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a bunch of New Yorkers all quaking with fear.

I saw at a glance what was scaring them so,
It was beasties and gargoyles all led by Vigo.

More rapid than roaches his minions they came,
Crowding behind him as he called them by name.

Now, Slimer, Now, Gozer, Now, Creepy things all!
Come with me tonight and we'll have us a ball!

Now slink away! Slink away! Slink to the towns!
Those dumb old Ghostbusters are so many clowns!

As the litter before a smoggy wind fly.
When they meet with a citizen, mount to the sky.

So up to the housetops the minions flew,
With screams and shrieks, and a crackle of blue.

And then in a twinkling I heard in the night,
Some moaning and groaning: It gave me a fright.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
A splatter of slime hit me right in the crown.

Through the window there came old Vigo the Scourge,
To run out of there, I had a great urge.

He was dressed in dark robes all covered with paint,
The sight was enough to make me feel faint.

A bag of mean tricks he had flung on his back,
And I knew we were in for a Vigo attack!

His eyes how they burned, his expression not funny,
His cheeks were like lemons, his nose was all runny.

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And his five-day-old beard was as black as the snow.

A stump of a bone was clenched in his teeth,
And all in a flash, he crunched it up neat.

He had a mean face he brought real close to mine,
That shook when he sneered like a bowl full of slime.

He was lean and real big, a right grisly old elf,
And I cried when I saw him in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye, a twist of his head,
Soon let me know I had plenty to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And wrecked all our gear with a twist and a jerk.

And laying a finger aside of his nose,
He gave a nod, and out the window he rose!

He sprang to the street, to his team gave a whistle.
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim 'ere he flew out of sight:
HAPPY SPOOKING TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD FRIGHT!


Image Credits: Group photo, which is the same image used in the Topps trading card set, comes from the official Ghostbusters Facebook page. The logo image comes from Ghostbusters International, but likely originated elsewhere.