The Corner Penthouse

This review was originally written on April 6, 2009, the day after the live Wrestlemania 25 event took place.

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I have been a WWE fan for over 25 years. I've seen every Wrestlemania, been to three of them "live" (via closed circuit television in the arena in the late 1980s - before pay-per-view existed), and have ordered every single one on pay-per-view for the past 15 years. I have enjoyed each and every one that I've seen...until last night's 25th event.

For starters, it annoys me to no end that WWE kept promoting the event as the 25th anniversary. It was the 24th anniversary, not the 25th. The first Wrestlemania took place 24 years ago in 1985, not 25 years ago in 1984. Putting that aside, going into the event it looked like it was going to be a great show. The first sign of trouble was the night before Wrestlemania at the Hall of Fame ceremony. The televised portion of the ceremony was like one big ad for the Wrestlemania event and the Legends of Wrestlemania video game. WWE even had Jerry Lawler stop the awards show to present a clip from the game featuring Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker. So much for giving it the guise of being a "prestigious" event.

While I'm on the subject of the Hall of Fame ceremony, WWE needs to start showing the entire ceremony live and unedited on television, like the Academy Awards and every other major awards show does every year. There's no need to show part of it live online and tape the rest, only to show it edited a few hours later on television. It's not like the USA Network has anything more important to show. All they played last Saturday night were 5-10 year old movies that they've shown numerous times before.


Anyway, getting back to Wrestlemania 25...Things started off fairly well. Although I thought Nicole Scherzinger's performance of "America The Beautiful" was rather lackluster, it served its purpose nicely and was well done overall. The Money in the Bank ladder match was also very enjoyable, even though Christian should have been awarded the prize instead of C.M. Punk.


Then came the first of the event's many downfalls: Kid Rock. What the heck was he doing there? Nobody goes to Wrestlemania to see Kid Rock. If, like Motorhead or POD, he was there to perform a superstar's theme music, that would be fine. Instead he performed a 10-minute medley of his "greatest hits", concluding with his latest single - which an on-screen graphic was kind enough to let us know is available on his latest album. Geez, even the video game shilling on the Hall of Fame ceremony the night before wasn't this much of a time waster.

Kid Rock segued right into the event's second downfall: the 25 "woman" Diva Battle Royal to crown the first ever Miss Wrestlemania. It started off bad, continued to be bad, and ended bad. Why weren't any of the Divas given introductions so we'd know who they all are? Yes, I know WWE were trying to hide the fact that they had a man in drag (Santino Marella) in the match, but why bring back all these women from years past and give them absolutely no attention whatsoever? Sunny was in the match, but there was hardly a mention of her, and she was only fleetingly seen on screen. The same for the other past Divas - Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, and Torrie Wilson - some of whom were only mentioned when they went sailing over the top rope. Victoria was the only past Diva who got any bit of screen time, and it was just a brief few seconds. Having no introductions also hurts the current Divas, as it gives them no way to stand out from each other. Looking at all 25 women in the ring, without knowing who is who, it ends up being just a sea of generic blondes and brunettes.


It's absolutely ridiculous that the women, some of whom can really work, were given one worthless spot on the card, and a man in drag walks away with the victory. That says a lot about what WWE thinks of its women's division. But WWE didn't just insult the Divas, WWE also insulted the audience by NOT having "Santina" be revealed to be a man in drag. The fact that WWE had neither the women in the ring NOR the commentators notice that there was a man in there was absolutely moronic. It was completely obvious to anyone watching, yet the announcers (of course) didn't notice that he was even there until the match was almost over, and none of the Divas even touched or attacked him throughout the match. After he tossed out his girlfriend Beth Phoenix, why not have her go back into the ring and pull his wig off, and then kick his butt? That would have been a somewhat respectable way to salvage this debacle. Instead WWE continued on as if "Santina" were a real woman. This match was clearly the Wrestlecrap Match of the Night. That's not something WWE should be proud of.


The Chris Jericho vs. the Legends match started and ended with great disappointment. Roddy Piper was good, Jimmy Snuka was sad to see (he can hardly walk), but once Ricky Steamboat and Jericho were left to go at it one-on-one it was AMAZING! That part of the match was one of the few highlights of the whole night. Then it got really disappointing. Much ado was made of Ric Flair and Mickey Rourke, but they did little to nothing to effect the match. A run in or some interference during the match would be been appropriate (Flair briefly ran in and was quickly taken care of so that negated his presence at ringside).


After the match was over, THEN Rourke is brought into the spotlight, having been called out by Jericho. After an eternity of making his way into the ring, Rourke gets in two punches and Jericho is left holding his head. I know that the WWE likes to put celebrities over at Wrestlemania, but that just looked bad for both Jericho AND Rourke, and it was so anti-climatic for the audience. I suppose, looking back, there wasn't much more that he could have done, but WWE could have handled it with more excitement than THAT. Flair and Rourke might as well not have bothered to show up since they did nothing of importance.


The Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy match was another one of the event's highlights, so there's really nothing bad to say about it. Well, other than the fact that for an "Extreme Rules" match, there sure was a distinct lack of blood (save for a small cut on Matt's head).

The Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield match was barely that. From bell to bell it ran a mere 21 seconds. The match was a disgrace to all the great Intercontinental matches in Wrestlemania history. I didn't pay almost sixty dollars to see an event with a match that didn't even last half a minute - especially when both wrestlers are capable of putting on an enjoyable and much longer match.


Next up was the Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker match. An absolute classic that was damn near perfect. If anything it could have been a tiny bit shorter - there were too many near falls for my liking - but that's a very minor quibble. This was the last match of the night for which I truly felt like I was getting *some* of my money's worth.


The first title match of the televised event was next, and it's the Triple Threat featuring John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show for the World Heavyweight Championship. I'd ask why there needs to be a Triple Threat at every Wrestlemania, but that's irrelevant. The whole match just felt like The John Cena Show to me. It was lame and predictable. WWE even had the same exact spot in the match that they had on free TV a few weeks ago: Vickie Guerrero on the ring apron, Cena runs at her but stops, steps aside, and Edge spears her off the apron. The Big Show never won a singles title at Wrestlemania. He's long overdue. Instead WWE gives us the same old, same old. Yawn.


The Hall of Fame Class of 2009 come out next and get the bows they deserve. Stone Cold Steve Austin then drives around the ring in his ATV and has a farewell beer bash. This was all well and good, but the fact that Kid Rock got more screen time than the Hall of Fame class is complete BS.


Then we have the final match of the evening: Randy Orton vs. Triple H for the WWE Championship. I was actually looking forward to this match because their feud was intense, and it could have been a big payoff. But WWE ruined it by getting awfully strict with the rules. When you have a feud where both men attacked each other in the most vicious and brutal ways, and each one of them is just waiting to get his hands around the throat of the other, you don't set up a match where the rules of disqualification are stricter than ever. Because of that, there was no twist, no interference (by either Legacy or the McMahons), no nothing. It was lame, tame, and ordinary. The build up was better than the match. Besides that, it had NOTHING to do with the title. This was a personal grudge match, not a championship match, not a pay-per-view main event, and sure as heck not a Wrestlemania main event, let alone the main event of this big landmark "25th anniversary" Wrestlemania. THIS is the match that should have had Extreme Rules, THIS is the match where they should have been beating the ever loving crap out of each other.


Wait a minute! That was the last match? When I ordered the event, one of the matches I was most looking forward to was the Champions vs. Champions Tag Team Title Match featuring Carlito & Primo vs. Miz & Morrison. But where is it? As I would find out the next day on WWE.com, the match did indeed take place at Wrestlemania - just not as part of the televised event. WWE shunted the match to the non-televised pre-show. A match for the freaking Tag Team TITLES was not worthy of being shown on television? It was not only a title match, but one in which the titles would be UNIFIED! Surely that's something important? Surely that's worth showing live on the air instead of a 10-minute Kid Rock concert or a joke of a Divas Battle Royal? The tag team match was thrown off the show so that Kid Rock could sing?!? Ummm...does WWE realize that the event is called WRESTLEmania, right? I paid to see wrestling, not a concert!

Here's the thing I just don't understand. It's a scripted show, WWE knows they only have four hours in which to fit everything in, so why doesn't WWE plan it out better? Set time limits for each match and segment so that everything can be shown, and nothing feels rushed.

Outside of two or three matches (none of which were for titles), this did not feel like Wrestlemania. Had this been No Way Out or Backlash, the card would have been fine and I probably wouldn't feel as negatively as I do about the fiasco. But it was Wrestlemania, it was the grandest stage of them all, and the WWE sorely disappointed. To make a big deal out of the "25th anniversary" and then put forth what I, and millions of others, watched Sunday night was almost atrocious.

[UPDATE]
When WWE later released Wrestlemania 25 on Blu-ray and DVD, they did more than the usual music replacement. They actually removed the entire Kid Rock performance, leaving the Diva's Battle Royal to start in progress. This is even more insulting than the live event. Not because they removed something that never should have been there in the first place (I'm happy that it's gone), but because it makes the whole thing pointless to begin with, and gives the Divas the indinity of having their match joined in progress (in addition to losing it to a man in drag). Since WWE knew that they weren't going to use Kid Rock's performance on home video (I don't know about the WWE Network), why pay him to be there at all?

Photos for this review are courtesy of WWE via this gallery, this video and this video.