Hardbodies Blu-Ray Review (Retro VHS Look Series)
By Paul Rudoff on Jan. 16, 2019 at 11:39 PM in Home Video

Hardbodies arrives on Blu-ray as part of Mill Creek Entertainment's Retro VHS Look Series, part of a growing trend of physical media releases with packaging designed to look like the VHS videocassettes of the 1980s and 1990s. I have reviewed several other titles in the series here on The Corner Penthouse.

Hardbodies (1984) is the story of three "dumpy, frumpy and lumpy" singles - Hunter (Gary Wood), Rounder (Michael Rapport) and Ashby (Sorrells Pickard) - who rent a beach house to take advantage of the surf, sun and scores of available hardbodies. Not having what it takes, the men hire a handsome young surfer, Scotty (Grant Cramer), to help them meet girls. Soon they're catching hardbodies with promises of a "BBD" (bigger, better deal) - faster cars, richer boyfriends, wilder parties. But there's a fly in the suntan ointment. When Hunter messes with Scotty's girlfriend, Kristi (Teal Roberts), the "sex geezer" must be taught a lesson.

Hardbodies is a film I saw frequently on premium cable and has always been a favorite of mine. Then again, what teen wouldn't love a movie with bountiful amounts of breasts! :-) I swear, every single woman in the movie (except Kathleen Kinmont) bares her breasts at some point, even when there's no logical reason why any woman would in that particular situation. What makes it even better is that all are 100% real; no silicone in sight.

It isn't all about the breasts, though. There's a story here. Mind you, it's just there to give a reason for the nudity, but it's a story nonetheless. It won't win any awards, but I did find some of the dialog to be genuinely funny. If you have an appreciation for bad movies and visual comedy, you may find something to like here, too.

Horror fans may recognize a few favorites among the cast. Kane Hodder (Older Geek), who with Chuck Hart (Young Geek) were the stuntman for the film, is best known for playing killer Jason Vorhees in Friday the 13th Parts 7 through 10. Kane is the curly-haired guy in the image above. Darcy DeMoss (Dede) made her debut in Hardbodies, before endearing herself to horror hounds as Nikki in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986). I had such a huge crush on the brunette beauty (seen in the image below) back in the day, and fondly remember her from many other films, such as Gimme an 'F' (1984), Reform School Girls (1986), Can't Buy Me Love (1987), Return to Horror High (1987), and Vice Academy Part 3 (1991). Kathleen Kinmont (Pretty Skater) would pop up as Kelly Meeker in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) and as Gloria in Bride of Re-Animator (1989). Lead actor Grant Cramer (Scotty) played the lead Mike Tobacco in Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). Courtney Gains (Rag) was in a few horror movies over the years, but the one he's best remembered for is as Malachai in Children of the Corn (1984).

At a runtime of 1:26:46, Hardbodies is presented in its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio (despite the case saying it's 1.78:1). On the audio side, there is only an English 2.0 DTS-HD Master Audio track. There are no subtitles. As is the case with most Mill Creek Entertainment releases, there are no special features - just like the original videocassette! The movie ends with the Sony Pictures Television logo, indicating that this was sourced from a print made for current premium cable showings.

The real "bonus feature" here is the vintage-looking VHS-inspired slipsleeve, with faux wear and tear, and fake "rental stickers" on it, while giving the appearance of a videocassette being pulled out from the right side (though the original VHS may have been in a bottom-loading box), complete with tape label side on the right spine. Here's a complete look at this special slipsleeve. Click on it to get a better look.
The front artwork is based on the original U.S. VHS box art, as seen below. Ghostbusters fans will recognize this box style as most of the 1980s RCA/Columbia Home Video VHS releases came in black boxes with a thick red border around the edge, like this. The back of the slipsleeve seems to be a new creation done in vintage style, and not meant to resemble the original back VHS artwork. (Credit for the original VHS artwork goes to various eBay listings.)

The case artwork underneath is of a modern style, which means that the VHS-style slipsleeve may only be available for a limited time. In the photo below, the slipsleeve cover is on the left and the case artwork underneath is on the right.

If you're not already aware of Mill Creek Entertainment, they are a budget company, which results in their products having a lower cost than the big studios. Right now, Hardbodies is listed on Amazon for a mere $7.50. For whatever reason Mill Creek doesn't have the rights to Hardbodies 2, so your only option would be to buy Anchor Bay's Hardbodies Collection DVD. Bear in mind that it's out of print, so it may be kinda pricey on the aftermarket, but if you want the second film, that's the price to pay. FYI: I've never seen the second film, so I don't even know if it's worth it. I'm just providing the link in case you want it.

As of the time of this writing, the Retro VHS Look Series includes the following Blu-ray releases.
• Happy Birthday To Me (1981) (January 15, 2019)
• Hardbodies (1984) (January 15, 2019)
• Krull (1983) (January 15, 2019)
• Last Action Hero (1993) (January 15, 2019)
• Silent Rage (1982) (January 15, 2019)
• Who's Harry Crumb? (1989) (January 15, 2019)
• The Legend of Billie Jean (1985) (February 19, 2019)
• Neighbors (1981) (February 19, 2019)
• Sheena (1984) (February 19, 2019)
• Songwriter (1984) (February 19, 2019)
• Hardbodies (1984) (January 15, 2019)
• Krull (1983) (January 15, 2019)
• Last Action Hero (1993) (January 15, 2019)
• Silent Rage (1982) (January 15, 2019)
• Who's Harry Crumb? (1989) (January 15, 2019)
• The Legend of Billie Jean (1985) (February 19, 2019)
• Neighbors (1981) (February 19, 2019)
• Sheena (1984) (February 19, 2019)
• Songwriter (1984) (February 19, 2019)
Images used come from the Internet Movie Database gallery of the film. The Blu-ray has been provided by Mill Creek Entertainment for review on this site.
No feedback yet
Leave a comment
« Hell Fest Blu-ray + DVD Combo Pack Review | Silent Rage Blu-Ray Review (Retro VHS Look Series) » |